Growing Up Fat.

I never realized how different I was until about 4th grade, when my Elementary School had gotten a new play ground. My friends, and I were chasing each other all over the play ground. Up, Down, and Around the jungle gym, all the way to the slides. It was then, that I started to feel embarrassed about my weight. All of my friends flew down the slide, and I was at the top, scared to get laughed at because I couldn't fit to go down it. I went home that day, and asked my parents if I was bigger than everyone else? They were honest with me, but said I was still a good kid. I went to school, and everyone was still nice to me, my friends were amazing. But, as I got older, I packed on a lot more weight. It wasn't until 6th grade that I really started getting picked on for my weight. I had maybe one friend, and that's no lie. I remember one day (in 6th grade) I was sitting in class, with about 5 other kids, and the teacher. The other kids started saying mean things to me. One girl asked me if it gets annoying spinning? I asked her what she meant, and she said because I am as big as a planet and revolved around the sun. I got so mad that I told her to shut up before I hit her in the face, and My teacher told the other kids to leave the room so he can talk to me. He didn't comfort me, he yelled at me, and told me I shouldn't talk that way to the students. I felt horrible. I dreaded going to school everyday. I felt things no eleven year old's should think. I thought about killing my self. Just ending it all just so I didn't have to go back to that classroom anymore. Where no one talked to me, except the one person that was my friend. But months into school she started being mean to me too. Telling me things that you wouldn't think a kid could say to another kid. She invited me over to stay the night, and I thought that meant we were going to be friends again. But I thought wrong. She got me to her house, and her friend from another school was there, waiting in her room. I could see them whispering, and making faces. They thought I was sleeping, but I laid awake all night listening to them say horrible things about me. Saying my fat ass was going to break the bed, and so much more. I am surprised they didn't hear me crying, I couldn't stop. I think I called my parents earlier than seven in the morning just so I could get back to them. The good thing that came with me getting picked on, was that I literally got straight A's all through Elementary and Middle School. But then in ninth grade I got so fed up, that I became bad. I stopped having respect for teachers, and most students, and did my own thing. I think my disrespect for teachers came from them now helping me. I don't remember any of my teachers sticking up for me, and telling the other kids to stop. I failed so many classes, that I am really surprised that I graduated. Although I wasn't happy being the way I was I finally felt like I had a lot of friends. But in the end, I hate my self for how I ruined my life. I will never get into a good university because of my poor High School Grades. I can't believe I let all those stupid kids ruin my life so much that it ruined how good of a student I could have been in High School. I will never get over that. Anyways, I am going to be Twenty-One Years Old on November 27th, 2011. I haven't enjoyed life like I have wanted too. I am still fat, and I haven't accomplished anything yet. One day I will change though, it's not about being skinny, and beautiful. It's about getting healthy, and building my confidence back up that I once had before 6th grade. I can't say much more about what happened in 6th grade, but I will tell you that I will never forget any of those people and what they did to me, and I will never forget the teacher who only taught me how to hate..